The Gottman Chronicles: Bidding, Turning Towards, and the Drama of Emotional Bank Accounts
In the thrilling saga of relationships, Dr. John Gottman emerges as the wise oracle, revealing the secret currency that governs the emotional economy of love – bids for connection. Picture this: a grand auction house where partners bid for attention, affection, and understanding. In this riveting drama, turning towards, turning away, and turning against become the plot twists that can make or break the narrative of a relationship.
Gottman's bids for connection are the lifeblood of romantic endeavors, the heartbeat of intimacy. Like a skilled auctioneer, partners toss bids into the air, hoping their counterpart will catch them and respond in kind. It's a dance of vulnerability and trust, where the stakes are the emotional riches that fill the coffers of the infamous Emotional Bank Account.
Turning towards is the ballet of love, a graceful pirouette in response to a bid. It's the partner who, when asked about their day, puts down their phone, makes eye contact, and engages in the art of active listening. Turning towards is the acknowledgment that every bid, no matter how small, is an opportunity to foster connection and deepen intimacy. It's the secret ingredient in the recipe for a resilient and thriving relationship.
On the flip side, turning away is the reckless tango of neglect. It's the partner who, when faced with a bid, chooses to remain oblivious, immersed in their own world. It's the missed opportunities for connection that slowly drain the Emotional Bank Account, leaving it gasping for emotional air. Turning away is the villain of the story, casting shadows over the once bright tapestry of love.
And then, there's the tragic turn against. It's the thunderstorm that follows the neglected bids, the hurricane that wreaks havoc on the relationship landscape. Turning against is the harsh retort, the snide comment, the rejection that inflicts deep wounds on the Emotional Bank Account. It's the plot twist that can send the relationship spiraling towards its demise.
The Emotional Bank Account, as conceptualized by Gottman, is the treasury of shared positive experiences and emotional investments. Every bid for connection, every turn towards, adds a deposit, while turning away and turning against result in painful withdrawals. A thriving relationship requires a healthy balance, a positive sum in the Emotional Bank Account that can withstand the inevitable storms.
In conclusion, Gottman's exploration of bids for connection, turning towards, turning away, and turning against paints a vivid portrait of the intricate dance that is love. It's a saga where partners are both actors and audience, bidding for connection on the grand stage of intimacy. So, fellow relationship aficionados, let's heed Gottman's wisdom, master the dance of turning towards, and ensure our Emotional Bank Accounts are overflowing with the currency of love. After all, in the grand drama of love, the bids for connection are the showstoppers that steal the spotlight.
By Kimberlee Daughtry-Lopez LPC-S
